Ok, so this blog-post is got nothing to do with kids, and all to do with mums…well sort of – happy mums – happy kids. Guilty/depressed mums – not-so-happy kids either. Makes sense?
When I quit my full-time job a little short of three years back – I had no idea what lay in store- I simply wanted to spend time with my kids and not feel so guilty all the time- working late hours. And I did get quality time with them BUT I also got depressed and a sense of doing a lot but at the same time not being able to talk about anything with ex-colleagues/friends. There is a lot of fun and sense of nourishment to be with kids but no obvious, tangible achievements or results like in the work-place I was used to.
That’s when i realized I need my family around me BUT I also need to do something for my own self. And don’t get me wrong – i don’t mean to say SAHMs don’t achieve or do stuff – its far more engaging then a work-role but it boils down to doing what you enjoy and feel happy with. As long as you enjoy what you are doing, and have no guilt, resentment, depression built in – go ahead – don’t judge yourself or be tied down with other’s judgments.
Anyways fast-forward three years – i tried my hand at various things – volunteering, free-lance writing, fitness-freaking and finally been lucky enough to find some flexi-time work within my own back-ground, as well as am now working on my own start-up.
Not to say a start-up doesn’t involve work. Most nights I am up late thinking strategy when kids are sleeping, running around in day-time talking with my developers, marketing to schools. But it’s my own baby – the buck stops with me. I don’t have to ask anyone’s permission to go watch my 4 year old’s christmas concert.
I feel I have finally found something which gives me a sense of achievement as well as family-time. This might change as my kids grow older. I might move on or even go back to work. But now I am used to finding around my path and doing what I feel is right for me, rather then others.
And there might be a totally different solution for different mums. But I wanted to share this story and my journey anyways: Don’t be a guilty mum, be a happy mum. Do what makes you happy and gives you a feeling of fulfillment- be it stay at home, full-time working, an entrepreneur or anything else. Don’t be scared to explore options and don’t feel tied down by judgments – after all happy mums – happy kids. Guilty/depressed mums – not-so-happy kids either. Makes sense?